Boot Camp - Day 1

My cousin and I joined a four-week, five-days-a-week boot camp. Monday, Wednesday and Friday cardio and strength training. Tuesday and Thursday yoga. Today was day one. Day one started at 5am, when I picked up J, who could barely speak English at that time. We started out w/ some stretching and jumping jacks, followed by running two laps around the park. I ran about one and a half. Next we did some wall sits, pushups, climb ups... more jumping jacks, jump rope, lunges. Gosh. I'm pooped! And my abs are killing me.

I'm pretty pumped, even though this is totally going to kick my ass. The trainer did a body composition test first.. with one of those pinchy things. I'm at 25.5% body fat. Which is just above the average, but well above what's considered to be ideal.

Tomorrow's yoga. Umm.. yah. We'll see how that goes. Bet J topples over at least six times. Taking at least one other person out with her (hi).

Low-flying planes

Ok, I know it's been a couple of weeks since the "OMG! There's a plane in Manhattan" debauchery. But, it's still on the news. So, I'm going to talk about it.

One simple question: Doesn't the government have access to Photoshop? Because, by paying some designer (actually an intern would do it for free), you could save 300K and get 30 images of AirForce One flying over NYC. Or, the Taj Mahal, or the Eiffel Tower, or Mars!

God, I'd do it for $20. Or an iced coffee. What morons.

And that, my good people, is why I'd make a great president. Although, I really don't care about alot of stuff. And I'm kinda lazy. Also, terrible at geography. I didn't *know* where Pennsylvania was until I actually drove there myself. (I grew up in NY.)

..at least I can communicate w/ customer service reps now

I think that I've come a long way.

My friend, Cesca's father passed away this week. She has every right to flip out. She was a thirteen hour plane ride away when it happened, and needed to get back home. During travel arrangements things got sticky a couple of times. She told me later that she "flipped out like you before the therapy."

That's pretty sad. I can say that at least I've figured out some of that. My anger and short fuse were the demise of my relationship. And probably the biggest obstacle I've faced throughout my whole life. I've been the thing that's held me back and made me unhappy....and miserable in the past.

After Lee and I broke up, I immediately started seeing a therapist. The trigger? Lee told me that he couldn't bring kids into the hostile environment that I created. To hear that, so clearly, so directly, from the man I thought I was going to marry... well, that shook me hard. That made me snap the fuck out of my pitiful being.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't blame myself for losing that. But, I also feel that I spent twenty six years throwing tantrums. And that I sorta deserved to be punished for my actions. I'm still being punished.

I look at everything differently. It's like a switch went off in my head as I pulled out of his parking lot with my car filled to the brim with three years worth of stuff left behind. With my bike strapped to the trunk. With my towels and tooth brush and pajamas and shoes and laundry and movies and books and life. I knew instantly that I had to change. And I have.

I can't get angry over stupid menial things any more. In fact, it's funny, I can't say I've really been angry at all since the break up. That's strange for me to say since I spent nearly every day of my life prior to that awful day in August, yelling and stomping about something.

God. If only I had been smart enough to fix myself before losing him.

Turn Your Head and Cough

Well. It's official. I just opened my Amazon package containing my TEAS study guide. The TEAS is way less fun that the name suggests. It's the nursing school entrance exam. It tests you on some weird crap. Apparently, it's mostly a general aptitude test that includes reading comprehension, language, math and basic science. But, I've run across some practice questions that are just ridiculous. But, whatever. I've gotta do it.

I am often asked about what brought this major career switch to the forefront. I'm currently in marketing. I always assumed I'd have an MBA before I turned 30. I'm 27 and I have zero desire to continue on in the corporate office environment. I feel it's slowly killing me. And, I like my current job.

The school I went to required six months of classroom study and six months of internships each year. So, upon graduating I had about two years of office experience. (Part of that was spent bartending, but we don't talk about that.) During that time I did have some beneficial experiences as well. I spent six months at an advertising agency in downtown boston and six months at a major media company. Working at the giant company as a menial peon made me angry. I guess I think I'm important. I don't like office politics. I don't kiss ass. I don't call my co-workers "Mr." or "Ms." because it's ridiculous.

I don't like that at the end of the day, leaving the office, I felt like I had no impact in anything. I don't like that I worked there fore $8 an hour, while the ads and programs I scheduled made billions for the C-level staff.

After college, I changed my focus. Instead of running to the nearest ad agency or media company, I chose to work for a national charitable organization doing PR and marketing. But guess what. A desk's a desk. Shortly after starting, I realized that I was wasting my early 20's sitting in front of a computer, teaching others how to use Excel, and walking on eggshells. I was given constant "professional development" advice from some people who had the worst business sense and ass-kissery I'd ever encountered. I was told I couldn't speak directly to my SVP. What?

While my press releases and instruction manuals did, eventually, lead down a long windy road that resulted in providing charitable aid to people, it was difficult to "feel" that I was having an impact. And, with that missing, I learned that that's what I was craving.

It's funny. I went to a great school for careers in the healthcare sector. Of course, I had no interest in that back then. Now, I'm rushing around, going to night school at a community college to obtain the necessary prerequisites for entry into one of several mediocre Associates degree programs that cater to evening and weekend schedule needs. All in all, it's going to take me longer to complete an AS than it did to complete my BS plus two years of internships.

Regardless of how much effort it will take, I am happy to be doing some hard work in a totally foreign field to achieve an actual goal. Plus, I get to wear a white lab coat.

I want to go to Costa Rica

I think I need an adventure. My life is hectically boring. Ha. Meaning, I have a ton going on, but none of it is "fun." I work 9-5. I commute an hour to and from. I'm living with my parents. I'm going to school two nights a week 6-9. I'm studying. I'm planning my nursing school entry. I'm thinking about buying a co-op (with what money, I don't know).

But, I'm single. I'm rooted. And, I'm bored. My job's fine. School's fine. Home's fine. But nothing is GREAT! Nothing is exciting. I mean, buying a place will be exciting. But... Then I'll be living alone. And, that seems a little boring too, right? Yes, there are amazing parts to it. Like decorating, and being in control of everything (which I like), and cleaning when you want, and feeling "at home." But, on a Wednesday night, after work, when you're having a glass of wine and watching Lost, you're alone. I like wine. I like Lost. But at when the show's over, it's back to boring.

Anyway. Long story short, I need an adventure. I'm thinking about planning a trip to Costa Rica. Some kind of all-inclusive thing where I can lounge on the beach, go see volcanoes, tour the rain forest. Q will come with me. It's not too expensive. I think I can get a week w/ everything for under $800.

Plus, I get to wear vacation clothes! Yey sundresses!

Am I Supposed to Feel Grateful?

My company went through layoffs this week. Luckily, out the dozens of people who were let go, I was safe. On the surface, that's friggin awesome. I haven't been with the company too long, so I was kinda shocked to remain. Honestly, I walked in on Monday already having thought through some back-up plans. Like going to school full-time, moving to a new city, living off of the land... But, thankfully, none of that came into play.

Not one day later, I learn that my workload has been tripled. On the one hand, I'm happy just to be getting a paycheck twice a month. On the other, I'm pissed. The work I'm doing has nothing to do with my career path. In fact, it's very similar to the work I was drowning in at my last job.

So now, I ask, "Should I be grateful to have a job even though I'm sure to be taken advantage of in the next few months?" I'm not making more money. I'm not getting a better title. I'm not getting any perks from taking on additional responsibilities. But, I have a job. Is it fair that I - and others in my position - should have to perform at 300% so that the company can save some money in losing other employees?

I don't know the answer to that. But, I fear that stepping up and saying anything will result in bad blood, OR that not saying anything will result in being taken further advantage of...

Maybe it won't be as bad as it seems right now. Maybe it will be worse. All I know is that my team had been pulled in seven different directions since Christmastime. And that work hasn't died down.

bleh..

27 is gonna be a good year?

Well, four days in and it's pretty much sucked. Saturday night, I had a karaoke festival for my birthday. I drank more sake than I can even keep track of. Roomate lost a shoe. My dad picked us up at 4AM at the train station. It was a mess. I spend more than 20 hours in bed after that. In fact, by the time Monday rolled around, i still wasn't 100%. Obviously, I'm not in college anymore. My body cannot handle this nonsense. Who do I think I am?

And what did Monday bring? A 20% cut in employees in my office. Luckily, I was saved from the chopping block. Thankfully, and surprisingly, since I've only been there for 7 months. I must be doing something right. Still, it was a gloomy, eerie day. Everyone was on edge, and it wasn't until 3PM that we realized the layoffs were over.

I got home to learn that my father ran over my beautiful $500 bike. Sad. It was less than a year old. I saved up and went to about 80 bike shops to find it last June. And not only did he run over it, but then he decided to back up to figure out what it was.... yup, it was my bike. With a bent frame, torn seat, arched wheel. Much less beautiful. Now, since I'm planning on doing the 5-boro bike tour in May, I've got to find myself a new one.

Today, by 10AM, shit hit the fan at work. So, that was a fun mess to clean up. It's actually not even cleaned up yet. I was at work til 7 tonight. That might not seem like a lot, but at a place that's typically 9-5, that's very odd.

Anyway, here's to hoping that Wednesday works out better. gees.

I Read Crap

I read alot. Alot. But, apparently I read crap-ola.

Here's a list of 100 books that, according to BBC, you should read in your life. Sadly, I have not read enough of these. I have, however, read many young adult novels. So, I think I'm going to start. Anything w/ (X), I've read. And, I'm not including the ones I read in middle/high school that I can't remember. I'm hoping to get through this list in the next couple of years.

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling (X)
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (X)
6 The Bible - (most of it)
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman (X)
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens (X)
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Partial Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier (X)
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien (X)
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (X)
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald (X)
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (X)
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll (X)
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis (X)
34 Emma - Jane Austen (X)
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis (X)
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini - (X)
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden (X)
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown (X)
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding (X)
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens (X)
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon (X)
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (X)
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold (X)
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens (X)
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens (X)
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare (X)
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl (X)
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo (X)